Thursday, July 17, 2008

Waiting

Here I wait
Swaying with the gentle breeze
A sweet smell fills the air
All around me
I wait

Bees come buzzing by
And take pollen from
The many flowers
I wait

All is still
Not a cricket chirps
Or a bird sings
I wait

Slowly the sun
Starts to rise
Bathing everything in
A pink and orange glow
I still wait

The sun is rising higher
The crickets start to chirp
And the birds start to sing
Everything comes alive
My wait is over

11 comments:

Bela said...

Very good! The imagery you have used if phenomenal! I love how you use the repetition in the beginning and end of the poem, instead of in every stanza! Fabulous!

Mackenzie said...

thnx you bela.

Gina said...

I loved that the images clearly illustrated the passage of time. I was actually waiting for the speaker to be a predatory animal and strike, since it seemed to be lying in wait. Maybe I'm just weird like that... :P

Mackenzie said...

no i see what you mean. maybe i'll change it

-blogger2 said...

alas, such great literature

Mackenzie said...

yes don't i have such great literature!

Mara Kate said...

I can picture a pretty field !

Mackenzie said...

haha yes mk i wrote about a pretty field full of flowers and bouncing unicorns!!!

Mara Kate said...

i love unicorns froclaking in fields weeeee I"M on a swing

Mackenzie said...

lol lovly butterflys are fluttering about!!!

Maddie said...

this is pretty amazing. i can't believe i didn't read a few of yours before. like bela said, the imagery is amazing. i pictured personally, someone who is up early, waiting for their town to stir, or someone home to wake up. like you have to stay there until some light starts to peak through. but that's just me :P